tommorow is school. glad to have an extra day of holiday... sian everytime the day b4 school its like a very depressing feeling . and i start to appreciate the little things around me. (; like the i get to laze in bed arnd for and extra half hour without feeling streesed out.this morning i was awoken by the lights outside my bedroom. On a usual school morning, i would be awaken by my maid opening the room door and i would look at the faint light from the window at the top of my room and groan to myself. The next moment bright lights fill the room and i pry my heavy eyelids open. The immediate feeling is one of depression -_- not because i have to drag myself out of bed. i simply don't know why that sickening feeling crawls all over my mind. I don't get this when i have to wake up early on sunday mornings to get ready for church , or when i wake up early to go for my adventure quest hikes on saturdays , even when i wake up early to catch a flight on a holiday with my family. This feeling is one of depresion -_- it onli happens on the night before school and it usually takes 1 or 2 weeks for me to get over this feeling to tell myself THE HOLIDAY IS OVER! time to get down to work! On the night before school starts, i start thinking of all the wonderfull things i did during the holiday. For this holiday it was the late nights i spent studying for the common tests and yea.. it really woke me up ! this common test was the latest nights i had spent studying not because i had lots of stuff to cover! sure i did but i did'nt study hard enough sigh.. Then i thought about when the common tests had ended! those days without a care! going out with friends enjoying every minute of that fellowship and stuff.. And malaysian montarch. Ahh.. staying in the resort playing poker cards with friends on the bus. Those endless hours of bridge. i think of the good times. And then i think of my Boys Brigade expidtion. The first one i have ever had. Scaling the jungles and forests, braving the leech bites. Water rafting ! my first time. Exploring the great lime stone caves, i still remeber the pitch darkness and silence i felt when in there. Most of all, i enjoyed my friends and the fellowship we had together. Usually we don't have time to do this during our busy school days ! sigh.. Then i come back to reality. I slip into slumber land . I wake up the next morning. And i go to school. I come back and i feel as if it is still the holidays. ACtually i enjoy school, i don't even know why i fear it. i love that feelings of satisfaction after a long day of slogging and hard work. And ahh..i guess its just all about getting into the feeling again! i had to blog about this ! so many thoughts on my mind.
losing my grip. [2:07 AM]
linus sEah .. :)
1st june 1992
RafFles iNstItutiOn
linus_seah@hotmail.com
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